HoHoHo! (stop right there) On the road again

It's gotten so that I feel more normal when I'm moving around with a suitcase than in one place! I've been in San Diego for about 4 days now, and being at an airport again feels just right. I am heading to Pittsburgh for Christmas, filled with joy, our house stuffed with wonderful people, a warm fire, amazing food, lively cousins, people ripping on each other in good fun, diving into wine bottles, re-gifting from last year... oh wait, that's someone else's family.

The past couple days have been a big ol' fog-a-licious jetlaggy haze. Moving through the day the atmosphere felt almost mercury-viscous. I went to bed at about 12:30 am, and got up after a "nap" at 4:30 and really don't feel any weirder than I have the last few days. Maybe I'm getting used to it. I have no room to complain as I have three good friends with newborns, which defines sleep deprivation, really. Maybe new parents always feel somewhat jetlaggy. All I know is that in public, I have noticed myself laughing out loud at what seem to be the most usual things, and consider that sleep-deprived delirium. Coming back to Cardiff has been lovely. People ask good questions, such as, "Are you ready to be back?" and "How does it feel to be back?" and I think am not sure yet. When I think back on it, it seems a dream, packaged in a different memory section of my brain. It wasn't long enough for re-entry culture shock, and it wasn't short enough to be a quickly-forgotten little journey. For the majority, I feel really complete with the trip, as I realized something huge, albeit obvious: you don't have to go away to go on an adventure inside yourself...although it's helpful to have the dramatic backdrop of foreign countries with all of their inherent richness, challenge, and gifts. A security line on Phuket, Thailand is quite different from one in Sydney, or Beijing, or San Diego. (Out of the six countries I've been in recently, the US is the only one asking for us to take our shoes off.) The trip has been amazing. It's not over yet.

Merry, merry Christmas!! May this week and early 2010 and beyond be filled for you with joy, fun, prosperity, good health, healthy family spats, awesome presents, and some Bailey's and hot cocoa.

I can tell this entry is going off in all sorts of non-sequitur directions so I'm going to hang it up for now

Homeward Bound (but just until the next trip)

This is Koh Phi Phi...what a dream!

Hard to believe it but I'm boarding right now in Hong Kong...to LA...have so much more to write. My boarding group number was already called and I find myself stuck in my seat. Just like I found myself wandering from Terminal 1 to 2 and back again...I think I'm trying to stay longer!  Jen is picking me up (Sunday night) in LA, what a dear...then off to Pittsburgh for Christmas! Merry Xmas, everyone, and thank you for reading thus far! Stay tuned for more posts in the next couple days.....oh, I am not done yet.

Catching up a bit...the Three T's! (Tokyo, Taipei, Thailand)

Tokyo


When I arrived in Tokyo I could not stop gleaming. It absolutely dazzled me. The streets in Minato-ku had a sort of European hush. They were windy, clean, efficient, breezy, attractive. Everything has been taken care of in Japan. Your hands in a Mitsubishi dryer with blue lighting. Please, no, don’t tip us; we are not a tipping culture (while taking my bag to my room, helping me decide where to put it, showing me the wireless, asking if I needed anything else). I said, so if I offer you some money right now you will not accept it? And he said, no, but thank you very much. I LOVE YOU.

Everything was that easy. The taxi drivers all wore uniforms. Little suits. Every single taxi had a white doily-like cover on every single seat surface. The floors were immaculately vacuumed. Nothing ever smelled. The cars were quiet, the traffic orderly, considerate even. All of this comes at a price, though, it seems (if you want to quantify it that way) – Tokyo was expensive, although I think that people overblow this a bit. Of course, I was on work travel and am not a shopper, so it didn’t bite me very hard.

The full moon was Dec 2. I will never forget this night. More on that (non)coincidence soon!

Taipei
SUCH a fascinating place, Taiwan. It’s China, and it’s not. It’s Japan, and it’s not. It’s Western, and it’s not. It’s flexible, and not. Careful about its identity. Joking, friendly, lilting language. There is something refined and familiar about Taiwanese. The people I encountered seemed to have a good balance of working hard and enjoying their lives. They teased each other, and even me, making me feel like one of the team right away.

Mr. Tao from Vietnam showed up at the airport (I had been delayed for one hour and waited for my bag for almost an hour, then had 45 minutes to the hotel) in a brand-new black Mercedes with tinted window. I could get used to THIS, I told him, and he proceeded to speak Vietnamese-accented Taiyu to me all the way there (we were trying so hard to communicate, and finally I just said “ting bu dong” and took a little nap). Mr. Tao took me to Hsinchu on Tuesday, and then back to the airport on Wednesday. I was always happy to see him.

Teaching/Coaching/Delivering Workhops

I realize, as I consider past blog postings, that the majority of what I have posted reflects my travel and people experiences, and not so much my teaching (which really is the reason I am making this circle to begin with; or is it?) This entire trip began because I decided to visit my cousin Claire in Fremantle, and then I asked Qualcomm if they had any need in the APAC region…and without hesitation, my wonderful colleagues there said YES.

By the time I delivered my workshop in Taipei, I had gathered a really clear picture/poignant observation about what people working in their second or third language really, truly need: to ask “Is it true?” Byron Katie style. And “am I taking this personally, and/or making assumptions” Don Miguel Ruiz-style. Asking these questions to an intercultural communication workshop participants proved to be thought-provoking.

How Do Americans Look?

We look big. Not just weight-wise. We are theater actors: the space is huge, the shot wide. They are TV actors: the space contained, the shot tight. Our facial expressions (and features) are big, enthusiastic, and can often seem insincere. “How ARE you?” at the Gap. “I LOVE your SHOOOOOES!” on the subway. “Where did you GET THEM??” Oh, did they laugh at that. My favorite experiment in my pronunciation workshop is asking a participant to say something in Chinese and then having me repeat it. “Watch my face,” I say. So they teach me “Wo shi ying wen lao shi” which means “I am an English teacher.” I say it, and then I say it in English, asking them to watch my facial muscles. Then they do it. My point is to get them to use their face and lips more in English, because the sounds aren’t being projected as loudly or clearly if they don’t. They get it right away.

What I am grateful for most is that I can share with them a tiny bit of what I imagine they think and experience (I get this confirmed, of course, by asking Is That True?) I can show them that someone does exist who is sensitive to their feelings, who may have anticipated what they needed, as they do so well for us. I collect their impressions like stamps.

Bangkok


At times I am not sure what I am doing (but then, who is?) Going to Thailand by myself, for example, not having a plan (at least on this day I didn’t). So I decided to read a familiar friend’s words. Dave Macek’s words were so helpful (whereintheworldisdavefromsandiego.blogspot.com) as I flew to Bangkok. He had just been in China for his brother’s wedding, and talked about relying on his intuition, and acceptance, and trust, and love. Very helpful to be reminded of these simple things, and so far, so good! Not that 10 days is such a big deal for not knowing what you’re doing. Today, I am going to a rad, gorgeous island, and am staying at an arty, mellow hostel called Bodega, a short walk from Patang beach, and hopefully close to a ferry that will take me to Phi Phi.

I landed in Bangkok at around 5 and didn’t get out of the airport til 6:15. It was one of those Office Space Murphy’s Law lines…except that as soon as I got out of my line, the new line flew. My immigration guy was doing three people to the original guy’s one. The first guy never once looked up at any one person in line, and got on the phone about three times. I was wondering about his intention and then just decided to do mountain pose. 35 minutes later I switched lines. Got my bag easily, and took a cab into the city. I had chosen a Hotel Ibis but neglected to confirm that it was the one Tricia had recommended (Nana, right on Sukhimvit) and instead chose Sathorn.

I had an excellent glass of French wine after running into a man from LA who was friendly and glad to hear English, was planning on moving there, and had dinner plans (I hadn’t asked his plans). So he had to run, after teaching me to say “Nit noy” for not too spicy. I went back to my hotel after walking down a little street market where they sold all kinds of delectable (and some gross)-looking street food and fruit and little stuff. Love how the new air of each new place hits you. It’s very warm and slightly humid in Bangkok right now, and you could almost take a piece of the air and mold it into a little spongey, taro- or lychee-like square and put it in your purse.

I like to digress and wax on. Sigh. So back at the hotel deck (a very nice, twinkly, Xmas-lighted place) I decide to people-watch, which, in my opinion, is never a bad decision. Immediately I see the LA man outside the hotel across the street with his arm around a tall, thin Thai man. He found his dinner plans!

Wanted to go to Silom or see the floating markets or to Patpang, but just didn’t feel all that comfortable going on my own (I took the wussy safe way out, oh well!) Oh, the hostel world is the best one. Which is why I am staying at the Bodega in Phuket! It looks RAD and the owners, Robin and his wife, Amy, are awesome!

Beijing, Nov 25-Dec 1 (from the future)

Of course the day I left I start to hear Chinese more easily again. It became slightly familiar but no less startling at times (Americans and Chinese may well be as loud as the other). This experience made me aware that Chinese arranges itself differently inside one’s head, that language and culture are indeed inextricable, that the order/chaos the sounds of Chinese distribute into the ether mimic accurately the way people interact on the streets, walking, in cabs, in cars, on subways: there is a space to fill and someone will fill it, but will not bump into his neighbor. It’s the space between the notes in music as well, where we understand what we are hearing. Listening to French now has become like listening to English, defining “all is relative” in a linguistic way. I love language so much. Just watched a sitcom in French (as I’ve been doing every night; so amazing how French sounds almost like my language compared to Chinese. I almost don’t think about the meaning, which is so cool right now for me). I love French. On this particular sitcom, I heard “besoin” and thought it was from Canada. Sounded like “be zoin.” True nuff. What a funny dialect. Different expressions, even.

Teaching and coaching in Beijing were awesome experiences.

On the flip side, I found it hard to know where to break in socially. As I don't speak Chinese, and didn't know many people in Beijing, I ended up spending a lot of time on my own. This is not different or bad, just a realization, and after several days made me understand wanting to go down to the hotel lobby just because I saw a few Westerners. What would that lead to? I wondered. Would I talk to them at a cafe or bar in San Francisco, San Diego, Pittsburgh? Nope. A dinner I don’t really want, conversation that is perhaps forced, an awkward entry into a group I don’t know OR: the most fun I’ve had since in Beijing, a nice surprise in some way (as Hong Kong was, talking to the flight crew from BA), a new business opportunity. (I ordered in and watched BBC and wrote instead.)

The night before I left, I had a Chinese massage (Tui Na, I think) and to be honest, ended up wondering what else really happens down there in that spa basement, although it was (because it was?) a five-star hotel. Was very sore the next day. The day after that, not sore at all. I am convinced that sleeping well, doing yoga every day, getting massage, and eating well are keeping my healthy in the midst of a coughing nation. There were two chairs in one room, and an ashtray; a bathtub, a TV, a changing room. In another room, there was a big bed with flowers on it and pillows and two rolled up towels. Hm. “Julie”, no. 66, at one point, got on the table, all 42 kg of her, and stuck her piledriver-like thumbs all down my spine (not a bad thing) but after a time I wished to be done soon, as I was sure “Julie” was trying to a-kill me.

Over the weekend I went to the Great Wall, Summer Palace, Tianan'men and Forbidden City today. I climbed the Great Wall for two hours and found myself wanting to go farther. Thinking of Bill Bryson and his Appalachian Trail experience, I turned back, figuring that no food, water, sleeping bag, or Chinese language skills would serve me badly. I went the steep way because everyone and their mother and cousin went the other way. Glad I did that. I met a bunch of people on the way, two of whom (teenaged Chinese guys) asked to take a picture with me. There still remains a sort of "ooooh, she's a foreigner" here. Despite the occasional German group, I have been the only laowei around. My favorite game is to laugh out loud (which is what I often do, anyhow, at least at home) and then furtively look around and see the reactions. I find that people react the same way I do to the clearing the throat, hawking, and inevitable spitting (often right at my heels it'snotaboutme) thing. Like this WHAAAA?!$%^&$#? Is she craaaazy?


I am practicing Chinese a tiny bit and need to try better to understand Chinese carrots! (That's what my tour guide called Chinese "characters".) She also called the basketball arena the bicycle arena and I was confused for an hour or so. Oh, and "Take 9-1 and then 9-4 to get to For beed en Ceet" which means "Take LINE 1 and then LINE 9 to get to Forbidden City." Some southern dialects of Chinese have no difference between the l and n sounds. (Yes, I am nerd.)

Tokyo comes next...what a 180-degree turn.

Happy Thanksgiving!

You are preparing cranberry sauce, and I am -- no joke -- eating a "Holiday Sandwich" from Starbucks (where I never go in the States, btw) on the 26th (yes) Floor of the Kerry Center in Beijing, where you can barely see the next building for the smog. I thought I was getting sick in Shanghai until I realized it was the pollution clogging my sinuses. Reiki has been amazing while here. Walking around big cities in China is almost like continuously smoking a cigarette all day long. I don't want to even imagine what the lung cancer stats are here, but maybe they're not accurate since there really is no pollution here, or swine flu, either :-). Actually the stats may not be accurate simply because there has been so much development in the last 5 years, even, that the pollution has gotten more out of control. I mean, I wish I could show you what I am seeing. I have pictures, and they look like I used too much flash. Well, imagine Pittsburgh again in the 60s, I s'pose, or a very foggy San Francisco day (except in SF the fog is white, not hazy pink/orange). I haven't seen the sun in a long time, although I know it is there.

 

Okay. Enough on that. I'm really writing to tell you all how very thankful I am to have you in my life. Sitting in a conference room at Qualcomm is far from sad or lonely (so don't think that; I will be digging up some expats later) -- it gives me the space in between meetings and coachings to finally sit down and breathe, now that the most hectic part of my work trip has begun. I think it was only hectic in my *mind, and now that I have two coaching sessions down, and two workshops (after today I'll have done 3 of the 11), that notion has disappeared. I am really enjoying connecting with people and even giving them one tiny bit of advice on their pronunciation or communication skills. What it all comes down to is confidence. They do not, and most do not, tell themselves how GOOD they are in English. It's only criticism and "I could be better" or "I don't understand that guy." Sitting one--on-one with these brilliant Chinese engineers is enough to create a bit more peace in the world. They are helping me understand their culture, and how I can teach them better, while at the same time I am helping them navigate in their English-speaking world with just a bit more skill. And if even a millimeter more of their chest is puffed out, and their smile is a bit bigger, and they tell me "I learned at least one thing," I have done my job.

 

I am honored to be here, and thankful that I have the family and friends I do, my health, my zest for travel, a heart bursting.

*Our minds are so amazing, crazy-making, fun-having, judgment-making, entertainment-seeking little beasts and beauties, aren't they? I find myself really doing a lot of work with judgment. Value judgments. Behavioral assessments. Re-framing everything a different way is the best experiment I can imagine doing. I say experiment because it really is practice, not toward a theory necessarily, but toward a way of being, a way of thinking, a way of holding oneself in the world, with love and the ability to see every single other human being as just exactly the same as we are, despite the (these are the silly goose little things I was working on):

 

-loogey-hawking (gross to hear during breakfast? Maybe...but that person really needed to get it out).

-people pushing and going as fast as possible (if I lived in a city of 25 million, I would try my best to fill any free space, too, and amazing how rarely people bump into each other)

-ignoring my request for a taxi (Was that true? I asked myself after 10 minutes and two questions at 7 this morning. My answer? Nope. I had not made my request clear, and he thought I was waiting for a ride.)

 

My point? All of this doesn't exist for just us, little Trumans, and nobody is right, or better...it's all just different, and just as interesting and comfortable. And what a great laboratory in the great world of practicing acceptance. It's fun to write and say the word "loogey" again, anyhow.

Fortune Telling, British Airways, and Sinuses

In no particular order, I have a lot of topic ground to cover! I have been too busy actually experiencing and working to sit down and write (which is not a bad thing 't all).

 

I'm now at the Shanghai Pudong Airport on my way to Beijing. On the way here I realized I had a big question: I'm not sure whether or not to fear H1N1 or the pollution here more. (I actually "fear" neither, but if I had to choose, I think I'd say the pollution is more grave. A vaccine doesn't seem to exist, either).

 

I think I exclaimed aloud at one point "Goooosssssh" in between breathing through my teeth. (I have been using my teeth as a filter for the particulate.) If I knew more Chinese I"d ask people if they wore masks for a. pollution; b. to prevent getting sick; c. to prevent making other people sick; or d. because they can. I'm thinking Prada might invent a sparkly one in aubergine for nighttime occasions (and it wouldn't be a copy).

 

Ironic: The movies the nicer hotels show are classics (Mel Gibson or Eddie Murphy are usually in one of them) from the 80s, yet on the street just below one can purchase a copy of "2012," which seems to still be in the cinema (I am using British English where I can just for fun and cause I can; I might throw a mask on, too).

I got to spend some wonderful quality time with dear Jerry Koontz, one of my favorite people in the world, while in Shanghai. He was kind enough to put me up for the weekend. I love his observations: one of them was always awe-filled and "How is it POSSIBLE???" referring to the speed and skill with which elevated highways and buildings are built. It does seem as though invisible elves are erecting these massive structures in a fourth dimension. Much of it is for the Expo, which will last for several months here in Shanghai.

 

Boarding for Bejing soon and a man just sat down at my table...the restaurant's way of telling me zai gian, I think! More later...